Grace

Hold me
Like the river Jordan
And I will then say to thee
You are my friend

Carry me
Like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there?

Weary
Tell me will you hold me?
When wrong, will you scold me?
When lost will you find me?

In Greek mythology, the motif of The Three Graces (or Charities) are the goddesses of charm, beauty and creativity. They have been depicted in art throughout centuries. I’ve included Antonio Canova’s neoclassical sculpture, The Three Graces for visual reference. The Three Graces depicts the three daughters of Zeus: Aglaia, Thalia, and Euphrosyne, each of whom is able to give humanity a specific gift (elegance, joy and beauty). 

The Three Graces, sculpture, Antonio Canova, 1814 – 17, Italy. Museum no. A.4-1994. © Victoria and Albert Museum, London

I have been drawn to the idea of living a life full of grace. Growing up, when I heard people say things like “Wow. They handled that with such grace.” I felt like that was the best compliment I could ever receive.  I wanted to be able to maintain a sense of composure even in the face of adversity. 

However, I have realized two things recently: 1. Looking for compliments and the approval of others will forever trap me in an exhausting journey of external validation. I do not need this to feel joy. I do not need this to feel fulfilled. I will not find grace in that. 2. “Handling it” can look a lot different inside than outside. Perhaps the person who seemed like they “had it all together” actually was walking around with their insides twisted up. Most people avoid a full expression of their emotions and needs, which results in a deep sacrifice (or at the very least, loneliness). 

visualizations of grace

I have wandered away from the path of classical views. Grace does not mean to be perfectly carved out of smooth marble. Nor does it mean to successfully hide any pain, displeasure or discomfort from everyone else. Grace does not mean a trifecta of elegance, beauty and happiness. When I think of “grace”  many other types of images now come to mind… 

Some days I picture Grace as a humpback whale, gliding through the water in all its gigantic, gorgeous glory. This creature takes up space, glides with ease and sings songs of deep longing and connection.

Other days, Grace is in the air. Flying fast and fierce through fauna and flora without fear of falling. Its very existence provides life to all things. It is when we breathe deeply and slowly.

Sometimes Grace is resting in the rolling hills or a rocky bank of a riverbed, hearing the rapids rushing by. It is the moments we are reminded to listen and be patient and follow the flow.

Sometimes Grace is a balancing act of the binary; borrowing from both sides in the attempt to break boundaries with beautiful bewilderment. It is the courage to live as your authentic self, never compromising your identity for the sake of fitting into a tired, old construct.

And sometimes Grace looks like a phoenix rising from the ashes. The smoke and the soot embedded in its skin as it survives a deep, burning rebirth. It is when our souls and love transcend death and live on in our friendships, our children and our children’s children.

saying grace

Grace is an overarching word. As I dive deeper into it, I recognize different components of grace for myself. Grace is both an internal and external act: for us to give grace to others, we must find it within ourselves. 

We deserve grace. We deserve to treat ourselves with kindness, patience and reprieve. When we lack grace, we lack compassion. We perpetuate cycles of toxic behavior. We harm ourselves, our fellow humans and living things we share this Earth with. Nature doesn’t judge. Animals embrace their surroundings and adapt. Trees dig their roots deeper and find ways to communicate with one another. I wish to do the same.

In keeping with my tradition, I offer up a new acronym for my components of GRACE:

G = Gratitude

R = Rest

A = Awe (Inspiration & Wonder)

C = Create

E = Endurance